Am I not skillful enough?

This is a post expressing my thought and criticism on myself.

After attending the arctic startup event in Helsinki, I have seen lots of cool company and noticed what is their development stage, what is the development method and how talented they are … I also realized that our team is at the very beginning stage and indeed we are not cool. And if we can not survive or evolve, we are doomed.

A serious start-up company will not take normal people, in fact the company decreases the failure risk percentage by hiring (extremely) talented people. However, I am more or less a normal person, I did go to school every day, did play games every week, and programmed as a hobby… Sometimes, I ask myself how serious I am in this project, and what is the situation I am facing now if I continue living like I did before. Will I fail ?

I am facing a chance, yes it is a chance to completely change my life. Never before have I realized that I almost catch up with the web 2.0 trends, and if I do not do anything, I am losing it. Never before have I realized that this is the only chance to be popular and rich and to let my beloved mom know that she can be proud of her son. Yes, by the time I left that bar, I realized it well and suddenly I knew that my team was far behind race, we are somehow losing the battle because of the development process is too slow.

A friend made a joke that he definitely will not work for a start-up company like us because of the risk. However, I did take it seriously, I know that we are bearing the risk but in order to minimize it, we should change the way we work. In my point of view, if we do not change then we will certainly fail. Don’t be too optimistic.

I spent so much time on trivial thing, I should stop surfing non-sense or unrelated websites. I should focus on coding and do not afraid of refactoring or modifying to improve code quality, do not afraid of applying new features.

I should narrow down what I should learn, and hire other persons to handle with their profession instead of trying to do it myself. I admit that I can not handle a real production server and my knowledge on Linux is limited . I admit that I am not a web designer. In the future I only want to be a pure web developer. And that will be my only focus.

PS: Like scred team, I will try to work 12 hours a day.


2 thoughts on “Am I not skillful enough?

  1. Hey, just saw this blog entry. Don’t worry, you guys ARE cool. You’re young and have the vibe and attitude going. You can’t help it if there are others with more experience, but they too are continuously having to question their methods and speed and having to learn new things. For instance we just spend the whole summer with a major rewrite.

    Running a startup is very hard work, which is why I guess most people don’t do it. Good to see you not losing faith but just to keep at it.

  2. Thanks for your comment, the first opinion since I opened this blog. And you are right, life at startup company is hard, but I read from some web startups that although they live in their basement, they work for their ambition. Sounds like the early Microsofts or Google

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